what i'm reading / sorry to disturb the peace by patty yumi cottrell
what i'm writing / a pitch for an essay about my relationship to my career in regards to my religious upbringing, where women weren’t necessarily encouraged to pursue careers, and definitely not required and expected to succeed in them as men were. i’m not writing about it because i’m bitter or sulking about how i was raised, it’s just something i’ve been thinking a lot about as i stand in this transitional space between college and a barista job i’m leaving and the great unknown of freelancing and researching MFA programs and searching for a way to pay my bills
what i'm thinking / that it's been a long time since i've felt this free and weightless and scared all at the same time. that perhaps i should have finished this update before i went to work and before i went to get celebratory drinks.
what i'm listening to / in your blood by thom byles
what i'm hoping / that i will have the guts to make the pitch i'm working on as good as i can in a reasonable time and then say “enough” and submit it. that i will start working on another pitch before i have heard back from the first and then, if either of those get rejected, that i will place them in my “rejected” file on my computer and then work some more.
what i'm fearful of / waking up tomorrow morning regretting my choice to leave a job i felt was suffocating me. also, getting to the end of next month and digging into my savings to pay rent.
what i'm about to do / finish eating my pint of blue bell mint chocolate chip ice cream and go find something on netflix to watch and then go to sleep hoping for a good future to begin tomorrow.